Since probably sometime this summer I've been posting about politics, the campaigns, the elections and the post-election analysis. It's interesting stuff to a lot of us and it certainly has a profound impact on our lives. I like reading about it and I like talking about it. But it wears on you. At some point it feels like beating a dead horse. For this post we're going to let the poor horse rest in peace and talk about something else.
I had a doctor's appointment today, nothing special, just a routine annual check-up with my neurologist. Of course, being a writer my mind took off on a wild what-if journey after the appointment that I thought I should share with you. You know, to give you an idea of how writers think and how some of our wild, crazy stories are born. I think you might find it entertaining, I did...
South Texas is really not that far from being a tropical climate. We've had record setting warm temperatures for a few months now, here we are in December and it's still warm. Today, however, the temps turned a bit cooler, we had high temps in the 50's with a northerly breeze, which is cold, relatively speaking for southeast Texas. All I had on my calendar for the day was a doctor appointment with my neurologist. It was an annual check-up, I've had these for several years now and for the life of me I cant remember how or why this annual succession of visits began. I think about that every time I go because, there's nothing wrong with me, neurologically. I think my family doc suggested it for some forgotten reason years ago. At the end of every visit he says, "everything looks good, we'll see you next year." I keep coming back, thrilled to hear the good news that everything is ok. I'm guessing that when you reach seventy years old you're supposed to do things like this. I've no doubt that these prosaic visits are costing a fortune, but considering I paid into Medicare for fifty years that doesn't cause me to lose any sleep, whatever... If something were actually wrong I'm assuming he would tell me and we would take the appropriate proactive measures. That's the best case scenario, worst case scenario would be he would tell me something like "You've got one month to live." In a desperate attempt to recover from the shock, I would ask "what's wrong with me?" For the next few minutes he would elaborate in a language I don't understand about some neurological malady for which there is no known cure. I've always been hesitant to argue with people much smarter than myself, so I stare blankly at him for a few moments and all I can say is, "Damn. Just like that? Is there anything else you can tell me? " "No, that's pretty much it," he says. "I'm sorry."
I'm speechless. It like my mind has been torpedoed and there's nothing left to conjure up any thoughts. Just a general feeling of impending demise and personal armageddon. The end. What in the hell am I to do for the next month? My last month. Take an extended trip to paradise? Max out all credit cards? I can't just sit at home and just watch TV.
As I head out the door for the parking lot, a cool stiff breeze and some sunshine prompts me to clear my head. The daydream ends. All that actually happened was he said, as he does every year, "Everything looks good, see you next year." Then the consult was over. Maybe I don't need to go back for next year's appointment. Since reaching the ripe old age of 70 I have taken notice that I spend a lot more time than I ever have in doctor's offices. But typically, it's when there's something wrong. Something hurts or a test indicated that we have to look into this. But to be seeing a neurologist and I don't even really know why... I dont have the shakes, I can walk without assistance, I feel fine, and there are no signs of dementia. Well, at least I don't think there are... Life's hard enough when we get old. All the things we used to do when we were younger that did't seem hard at all, now don't seem so easy. We need help doing a lot of things. We need doctors more often than we used to. But I think I'm going to scratch this appointment off my list. It's good to be proactive and practice preventative health. But sometimes the old axiom 'if it ain't broke don't fix it' still works just fine. I dont think I'd ever be able to figure out what to do if I only had one month left anyway...
Or perhaps, just perhaps, maybe the fact that I don't even remember why I'm seeing a neurologist might be a good reason to keep seeing him.
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