Reading the news this morning I see that Ellen Degenerate (sic, intentionally...) has won the Presidential Medal of Freedom. Congratulations Ellen. When you have your own daytime talk show and you have glamorous Hollywood types on to talk about 'stuff' you are indeed changing the world. Underprivileged kids are being fed hot meals, kids with cancer are being cured, etc, etc. Kinda like Obama winning the Nobel prize at the beginning of his first term. For what? If you're a TV watcher then you know how fond Hollywood is of giving themselves awards. When they're not filming something they're giving themselves awards. What's the difference if Obama gives one of them an award. This award is supposed to recognize those people who have made "an especially meritorious contribution to the security or national interests of the United States, world peace, cultural or other significant public or private endeavors". Well, forget about national security, if that were left to Ellen we'd all be in a cage being tortured by towelheads. World peace, why yes, of course! Shooting the shit with Amy Schumer has calmed down entire cities. Indeed, congratulations Ellen.
Once again, our wonderful leader has done something that deserves a bitch-slap. But after eight very long years we've come to expect such.
I digress.What I signed on to talk about is the media in our country. Let me start by pointing out something really important that probably seems innocuous to most people. How often have you been reading something whether it was a magazine article or a breaking news article about an important world event and you notice misspelled words? Now that you stop and think about it, pretty often, huh? Editors, journalists and reporters, some of whom are reputedly major names in the business. To top it off, these guys have proofreaders and editors who are checking their work before it is published. Supposedly. Allegedly. And every couple of weeks they are paid for writing this sloppy, unchecked garbage. I know I'm not the only one who notices this and is bothered by it. I'm just so thankful that the surgeon who did my hip replacement doesn't take his work so lightly and pays attention to the details.
OK, picture this. You have the press room at the White House full of the country's elite journalists and reporters waiting for the president. I walk in and walk down the rows, stand behind each one and administer a good hard bitch slap to the back of the head to each one of them. After the last one has received his admonishment, I walk to the podium and say, "If you want to be a plumber learn how to stop leaks, if you want to be a carpenter learn how to use a saw without cutting yourself, if you want to be soldier, learn how to shoot a gun. If you want to be a journalist, LEARN HOW TO FUCKING SPELL!" Then Obama walks up and I look at him and say, "Whatever."
As far as I'm concerned if you wrote an article, especially one of import and you misspell words in the process your credibility evaporates. You're supposed to be a professional and the expectations of all who read your work are that it is professional grade work. If you are capable of high level, rational reasoning and analysis of complex events, then you should be able to spell.
There are other expectations of your vocation. I want everyone of you sunsabitches that make a living writing news to listen closely. Do not use your station in life as a member of any standing in the media to further your own interests, especially those of a political bent. Just as you were taught in school, journalism is to be unbiased and objective. Report the facts. Back them up. If you want to push your political agenda, fine. You are free to do that. Join a PAC. Become a lobbyist. Join a protest. Paint slogans on railroad trestles. But keep your drivel out of the media. America doesn't only not care, we don't want to hear it. It's irritating. We buy newspapers, online subscriptions, turn on cable news to get (are you ready!) NEWS.
Oh yeah, and learn how to spell. Ask your eight your old. They can help you.
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